Final Thoughts

I have been home for about a month...three weeks actually. Only three weeks. Three incredibly long weeks. The week I got back, the chaos immediately ensued. Internship (aka my other job) began, work resumed, class began, and the catch-up started with my family and friends. I was instantly consumed with my life all over again. And, I was frustrated.

I have had several things that stand out to me since I have been home. The first is the world of excess. When I got home, there was food in my fridge that had spoiled while I was gone. I almost vomited, not because of the mold, but rather because of the waste. It made me so lonesome for a place where things are valued and where each day and each meal is a gift and is celebrated for being such.

The second struggle is with my job. I work with persons experiencing homelessness. The persons that I see each day are living deep in American poverty. I talk with my participants about their natural resources and about what things they bring to the table in order to develop a plan for permanent sustainable housing. Teasing out resources and validating their resources is a big part of my day. It is often, however, that participants will note that they don't have any natural resources that they can contribute. In the past, I have not always agreed, but have understood. After all, the trauma of poverty is pervasive. Now, I look at these same situations in a whole new light-and recognize the amount of resource that is actually present in all of us-simply due to being a US citizen. It has really been difficult for me to be around persons living in poverty (as defined by United States standards) since I have been back. I have rarely struggled with empathy and with engagement, and yet I can now feel myself judging, critiquing, and comparing the two situations...and wanting to scream out..."If you only knew!!!" I have really struggled to maintain my professionalism and to maintain the moment of the participant's story without reflecting back to my own experience in El Salvador. It is really difficult.

Another struggle for me has been my story. So many people have asked me about my trip. I struggle to answer this. What do you say? What is the correct way to sum up the experience in 45 seconds or less-and, of course, making sure to make it meaningful to the audience at hand?? How do you tell the story without destroying it? The last thing I want to do is romanticize the struggle, the oppression, and the impact of restorative justice...yet to be silent is an insult! I have felt really trapped by this. I feel that I don't have the words to accurately sum up the experiences into something that doesn't do a disservice to those with whom I interacted. How does one express the passion and the tension of standing in solidarity? I continue to work through this.

Finally, this trip was not a mission trip and was not tied to a particular faith. However, before I left for the trip I asked my God to open me to the experience, to allow me to see things that have not been seen and to allow my heart to be broken as many times as needed to be able to bear witness to the struggle. I claim this trip as a blessing. I understand now that without entering into the pain and the injustice, I would never be able to appreciate the bittersweet legacy that comes from restorative justice and from peace. So, I celebrate the struggle-knowing that I am a changed person. And, I thank God for the opportunity to be uncomfortable, because now I know what true solidarity is. It was written on the faces, seen in the work of the hands, and left in the footprints of the Salvadoran people.

Earthquakes and Tremors

So, they have earthquakes and tremors here. I have now experienced two of them. Enough said.

University of Central America

This is a poster that hangs in the University that shows the pictures and the names of those murdered on November 16, 1989.

These photographs hang on the wall in the museum honoring those who died in the struggle for justice.

This is the plaque in the rose garden with the names of the 6 Jesuit priests who were murdered.


This is the rose garden that stands to commemorate the loss of life that happened here in this courtyard.

Yesterday we visited the campus of the University of Central America (UCA). This campus is a private college in the city of San Salvador and is the place where the 6 Jesuit priests and 2 women were murdered on November 16, 1989. The Jesuit priests were known for being academics and for holding a strong interest in education and in opportunity. They began to speak of some of the disparity that they were noticing within their country. Further, they began to analyze the politics that were occurring. As a result, they became a threat to the Salvadorian government and the military. Now these were spiritual persons who were working on a college campus who were NOT Communists, were NOT violent, and who were simply pointing out the current phenomenon of injustice in their community.

The military visited the campus and made their presence known to the priests. One of the housekeepers and her daughter were fearful to stay in their own home on the campus and asked the priests if they could stay near to them for protection. The priests agreed and the woman and her 15 year old daughter stayed in the room next door to the priests bunks. That night the military returned and tortured and executed the 6 priests in the courtyard. They also found the woman and her daughter and they killed them as well. There are photographs in one of the rooms on the campus that show that the mother was laying on top of her daughter in an effort to block her from the bullets. All of this blood was spilled for no real reason. Lives were ended well before their time was up. And ALL of this was done to squash any talks that held a different perspective than that of the government.

There is now a rose garden that is planted in the courtyard where the priests were murdered. There is a plague that holds their names as a way to honor what happened on these grounds. There is still bullet holes in the concrete and on the steps on the way to the bedrooms of the priests. There is also a museum on campus that holds artifacts of the priests as well as the clothing that they were wearing the night that they were murdered. These items are held not as a way to maintain an anger at the injustice of what happened but as a way to preserve the experiences of these persons to allow future generations to understand the legacy of struggle that the people of El Salvador have endured in order to advance justice and promote peace. There are also pictures of the bodies and of the autopsies. These photographs show the hatred and rage of the military officials. I don't understand how this type of hatred and loathing can be bred into persons and these types of heinous acts can be committed. But, I don't think that is the point. The point is to demonstrate the passion and the sacrifice that people are willing to make on behalf of their community in order to pursue a better and more appropriate way of life. Their struggle has moved me. Since viewing these grounds I have had difficulty sleeping...their sacrifice is so great that it haunts my dreams.

"I think that they believed in a God of life, who favours the poor, a God who gives meaning and salvation to our lives and hence a radical hope."

-Jon Sobrino, S. J.

The View from the Hills

This was me at the top of the mountain-I conquered the upward climb. It was like you were so high that you could reach up and touch the clouds.

The hills in the very back of this picture are actually the mountains of Honduras.

Another distant shot of Honduras. The path that we tread was the same path that the people of Santa Marta and Victoria traveled under cover of night to avoid capture and torture by the military.

In one of my previous posts I talked about the fact that people were forced to flee from their homes in Santa Marta and in other small communities and flee into the mountains towards Honduras. I also mentioned that we had the opportunity to hike these same hills. I was lucky enough to be able to hike to Santa Marta from Victoria and also to make the return hike out of town. I was stilled by the stories that these hold...stories of struggle, of terror, and of perseverance. These hills contain the hopes and dreams of so many...some still living and some who have paid the ultimate price. These are some of my pictures. They don't even do justice to the incredible beauty and the majesty of these hills.

Pictures from Santa Marta

A typical traditional home in Santa Marta.

Everyone works in Santa Marta. These girls were carrying their laundry back home after washing in the river.

These are artifacts collected during and after the war. These were all found in Santa Marta. The people there are hoping to build a museum to help future generations understand what happened. They anticipate the museum will cost $20,000 to build. Currently they have saved $350.

This is a part of one of the bombs that was dropped on Santa Marta. Most of the bombs weighed over 500lbs. The bombs were loaded with pieces of metal shavings that would exploded out upon impact. We met a man who still has pieces of this metal lodged in his brain.

This was the soccer field in town. On Sunday afternoons there is always a game going on.

Another traditional home in Santa Marta.

Another home. Here the wash was done in the river and then carried back home and hung out to dry.

Santa Marta

The past few days we have been staying in the countryside in the town of Santa Marta. Santa Marta has a rich and deep history that contains stories of heroism and of struggle and the pursuit of justice. Santa Marta was a small community that was involved in the civil war. Some of the persons living in Santa Marta were involved in speaking out against the large disparity of wealth and privilege within the country of El Salvador. At that time, only a small portion of the population owned any land or held any control. The rest of the population worked the land but were unable to have title to the property or to have the ability to earn a wage to feed their families. Persons living in Santa Marta joined in the conversation and began to speak out against this injustice. As a result, they were labeled as "communists" and were called the guerilla forces. The military had orders to wipe out theses forces and kill all involved in the effort. Conflict and tension heated in the lands surrounding the village and began also in Santa Marta. We heard testimonies of persons who have now returned to the village to rebuild it of the terror and trauma they experienced. Some of the testimonies talked of being held at gunpoint by soldiers with children present. Others told of the rape and torture and murder of women. Torture so severe that people were gutted, hung up by their testicles, and had their breasts removed. The stories were so gruesome-and all of this done under military order to somehow combat "Communism".

The military at one point stormed Santa Marta (a town so small that it doesn't even make it onto the maps) with 7,500 troops. They dropped bombs with explosive materials inside, they set fire to all the homes and to the fields, and they killed any persons who remained in the town. The town had organized against this but they had less than 40 guns...must of which were home-made. There was no chance of survival with these kids of odds. Most of the residents had heard word of this offensive. The families fled at that moment-leaving with nothing but the clothes they were wearing. The families hiked over mountains and headed for the neighboring country of Honduras. I had an opportunity to hike these same mountains. It was one of the most physically exhausting experiences of my life. I was chilled to think that persons from Santa Marta and other communities walked these same hills carrying their children, without food, for days and weeks and months. While they hiked, the military would shoot at them, would continue to drop bombs, and would hide out looking for them. Many who were too weak or sick were left to die in these hills. Children died of starvation. Women gave birth in the grasses. People my age talked about growing up in the refuge camps in Honduras. These are the stories of the people that we stayed with. These are the stories of the persons that we worked with. We had a chance to move with them and to learn and to understand their stories.

Now the focus for this community is on remembrance. By remembering the dead and honoring the struggle, they are able to move towards reconciliation and peace. At my church we talk about joining with the God of the oppressed. My Jesus was moving in and through and around the people of Santa Marta. I could see Him in the face of Abuela Rosa with whom I had the privilege of living with for the past three days. It was in the words of Aida, and in the testimony of Walter. The people's resilience and the strength and the resolve to continue in the work of justice is unparalleled. As I walked the streets and hiked in the mountains I thought about the journey to Jerusalem that Jesus took towards the end of His life. He knew His mission, and He knew His fate. The persons of Santa Marta were walking a similar road. They knew their mission but did not know their fate. Yet they continued down the road because they knew that the end would satisfy the means one way or another. Their love for each other and for their community guided their path.

My heart is overcome with the passion of their struggle.

Suchitoto

While in El Salvador we had the opportunity to visit a town outside of San Salvador called Suchitoto. This village was colonized by the Spanish and the remnants of this are seen everywhere from the cobblestone streets to the architecture of the buildings. This town was involved in several massacres during the time of unrest and civil war. The majority of the persons living in this town were either murdered or fled for their lives. We had the opportunity to meet with a nun who lives in Suchitoto and has been in El Salvador for over 40 years. Her name was Sister Peggy. She allowed us into the church area including the chapel and the area where she and the other nuns reside. This building that they are living in was originally a part of a private hacienda. The landowner had commissioned a private chapel for himself around the year 1880. Eventually, a group of nuns bought the building and were using the chapel for services and outreach into the community. However, the nuns were physically run out of the town of Suchitoto for the work that they were doing during the civil war. Sister Peggy mentioned that the sisters actually had mutilated bodies placed on the doorsteps to the church telling them to leave or they would be next. The sisters abandoned the church within 9 hours and never returned. The grounds fell into disrepair and were eventually then purchased by a different group of nuns. The grounds are now entitled Centero Arte Para la Pas. This is where Sister Peggy lives.

Since the war, Suchitoto has now become somewhat of a tourist area (as much tourism as El Salvador can generate) and is well-known for it's beauty and for the work that is being done with sanitation efforts and community outreach.

Sister Peggy also took time to talk with us about the concept of belonging. She is not your average Catholic nun....let's just be honest. She was interested in each of our stories and asked many questions about our passions and our interest in El Salvador. She told us horrible stories about the war and about what it means to be a nun in contemporary society...and what it is like now-trying to heal after so much oppression and hate. The people of Suchitoto have such stories of struggle, of perseverance, and of grace.

Being with Sister Peggy was a sacred experience. Sitting in her presence reminded me of a passage in the Bible in Exodus. In this passage, God says to Moses..."Do not come any closer. Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground" (NIV). While I was in the town of Suchitoto, I felt like I wanted to remove my shoes...the ground was sacred ground. I was not worthy of being in this presence. Today, in her presence and in the presence of the people of Suchitoto, I saw the face of Jesus. It was a face of struggle, of tension, of grace, and of love.

Nuevo Amanecer

This morning we were able to visit a community center in San Salvador called Nuevo Amanecer. The agency is doing some really cool stuff in terms of outreach and engagement with the community. Some of the activities/areas of service include a child development center (equipped with a volunteer social worker), an organic garden to supply additional vegetables for the meals that are served through the agency, outreach with persons living with HIV/AIDS, and micro-finance activities for small business owners such as the production of soaps and environmentally friendly shampoos and conditioners.

When we arrived at the center, they were having a farewell party for one of their volunteers. They also had several other volunteers who have been living in El Salvador and doing social work and teaching at the center for the past few years. When we arrived today, one of the social workers became very emotional and noted that she has found such a passion for this country, for its people, and for bringing about restorative justice. She was very excited to see an interest in El Salvador from other persons in the USA-we were very blessed to be able to hear some of her story and to be able to spend some time with the kiddos as well. We were able to dialogue about how discipline is provided to children at the center, how prevalent the cases of child abuse, and about how children with different learning styles are accommodated. To all of the teachers in my family reading this, you will be interested to note that there were many similarities between education in the USA and in El Salvador. "Agreements" are posted in each classroom, somewhat like a learning contract, discipline is based on these agreements and is posted in each room. Additional discipline includes time outs, group consensus on additional punishment, and involvement and engagement of parents into the strategies laid out in the classroom. Further, for early childhood education, the day is structured into centers focusing on fine and gross motor development and dramatic play. The kids were very excited to see us and we had a great time playing with them on the playground. It is amazing how the language barrier evaporates when playing with kids. Despite so many differences, kids are still kids...with the same needs and hopes....and when it comes down to it...they simply want to have fun and be loved.

Child Welfare

Today we visited the Institute for the Protection of Minors and got to take an inside look at the working of the child welfare system of El Salvador. During the day we learned that the majority of the children who come to this facility are either juveniles who are involved with the criminal justice system, children who have experienced great trauma in the form of sexual, physical, and psychological abuse, or those who are estranged from their families. Children with severe developmental disabilities are also included in the population served by these agencies. Further, the agencies who are a part of this continuum accept children who are as young as only 3 days of age all the way through adolescent aged children. Over the past year, the centers have assisted over 2,000 children. Currently, within El Salvador, 40% of the population is under the age of 18. Take this factor and couple it with the extreme poverty and social isolation and you begin to understand why the rate of violence in the country is so high.

The director of the centers noted that of the 4,000 children who either sought refuge or were dropped off to the agency, 15% had attempted to come to The United States and were turned away. As a result, the agencies within El Salvador have been trying to serve as many as possible on VERY limited resources. To shed some perspective on this, the director noted that only 14.5 million dollars has been allocated from the government of El Salvador to the issue of child welfare (including administrative dollars)....FOR THE ENTIRE COUNTRY!!!! These are the only funds that the agencies receive. They are interested in looking to international aid for to supplement these funds, but acquiring new dollars requires quantifiable data sets that the agencies do not yet have (but are trying to acquire). They are increasing advocacy efforts within their governmental structure, but meanwhile, the staff are doing the best they can with the resources that they have. The majority of the staff at this agency make well under $500/month....all the while providing some of the most difficult direct client/service work imaginable. Further, the institutes employ over 1,300 workers, even more than the government of El Salvador. Yet none of this impacts the amount of funding available.

It makes me wonder why injustice such as this goes unnoticed and without mention. We drive our mini-vans and SUV's home to a cookie-cutter subdivision and go about our daily routine without any thought or concept to conditions in our areas of the world. Children are suffering and agencies who are trying to manage this problem can not be supported even to address the current situation, let alone make any real progress in education and support to prevent further incidence simply due to resource allocation. This all makes me think back to that $12.5 million/day shelled out by the US government during the civil war in El Salvador. What would that kind of funding mean again to this country?? Perhaps instead of promoting violence, these dollars could finally begin to fund the restorative work of peace and of social justice.

Pro-Busqueda

In the morning we went to Pro-Busqueda, which is an agency that helps to re-unite children from the El Salvadoran civil war with their families of origin. During the civil war in El Salvador (1980-1992), the military of El Salvador sought to exterminate the land of the indigent peasant persons. These individuals had been so oppressed by their government and through colonization that they were trying to reclaim their voice and fight for basic civil liberties such as a fair wage for work, the opportunity to own and to claim the land on which they worked, and to have education and health for their families. The military of the El Salvadoran government had been corrupt for many years as a dictatorship. Then, the corruption continued even as a democracy and military power and presence continued to grow through financial aid of The United States government, specifically the Reagan Administration. As a result, the people of El Salvador were terrorized, raped, and tortured. All of this was done under the false-pretense of eradication of "Communism." What actually happened was that the country experienced conditions similar to genocide thanks in part to the $1.5 million dollars/day that was pumped into the country from the USA. The war lasted an agonizing 12 years.

The government of El Salvador would raid the countryside and stalk and murder families that were a part of the resistance, also known as Guerilla movement. When the parents of the children had been imprisoned or tortured, the government would take the children away from them and would bring them to camps or hospitals. The military would either give the children away to other military members or they would sell the children into adoptions. The bulk of the children were sold (around $20,000/per child) to families within the USA through adoptions. The government of El Salvador pocketed these dollars and turned the trafficking of children into a lucrative business. Pro-Busqueda estimates that 5,000 children were sold via adoption into the USA alone. The adoptive families were told that the parents of the child(ren) had died in the war. The children were re-programmed to forget their lives, their names, and their heritage. It wasn't until a few years ago and the dedication of a priest, Padre Jon Cortina, and others that the search for these missing children was brought to light. Pro-Busqueda works very hard to assist families in El Salvador with the search for their missing child or to assist persons who were adopted who are seeking to reconnect with their families of origin. The work that they do is unbelievably difficult and is so critical to the healing process within this country. The effects of the civil war still permeate this country and will not soon be forgotten.

The website for Pro-Busqueda is: www.probusqueda.org.sv

Monsenior Romero

"If they kill me, I will resurrect among the Salvadoran people."

Monsenor Oscar Romero (August 15, 1917-March 24, 1980)

Monsenor Romero was many things to the Salvadoran people. He was a leader, a man of God, and a visionary for change, hope, and for civil rights. His unbelievable assassination wounded the Salvadoran spirit, but it did not stop the quest for justice. Rather, many chose to rise up against the injustice on account of the despicable acts committed against those who spoke truth and who pursued a better way of life. Monsenor Romero's untimely death served as a catalyst for the Salvadoran people. His legacy continues to live on throughout El Salvador and in the spirit of those who pursue justice and the promise of peace.

El Jabali

Today we went to visit a coffee co-operative in the mountains of El Salvador. We had an opportunity to meet with Miguel, who is one of the administrators of the co-op. He took us around and showed us the operation and provided a detailed description of how the organic, fair-trade coffee is grown, harvested, and prepared. The entire experience was extremely eye-opening. I have such a new found appreciation for my morning "Cup of Joe."

The trip up the mountain/volcano took over an hour. The roads up the mountain were single lanes of dirt with very tight curves and twists. Cattle, dogs, tree roots, and children were everywhere. Along this road were different communities and homes of peasant farmers. Once arriving at the coffee co-op, Miguel explained that we were 9,000 feet above sea level. We were hardly even half-way up the mountain!!! He explained that the actual coffee plants were still another hour up the volcano as that is where the really good soil can be found. Workers during the harvest make that drive daily, and then when the road ends, they walk a while further to spend all day picking the berries. When the day is done and their packs are full, they then hike the packs down the mountain several miles to the road where the truck can pick them up. The berries then go through a very detailed process of removing the casing of the berry, cleaning the seeds of the "honey" surrounding them, processing the berries, and then drying the berries outside under direct sun for a period of time. The beans are then greenish in color until they are roasted in a machine that fills the building with thick smoke and heats to over 400 degrees. Then the beans can be weighed, measured, and packed and sealed. Our group packed over 200 pounds of coffee that afternoon in a concrete room where the temperature was well over 90 degrees.

WE WERE EXHAUSTED!!

The amount of time and the science behind making the perfect cup of coffee is more then I ever knew. From this experience I see and acknowledge the implications for buying coffee from a relation-based enterprise. The sales from the coffee are put directly back into the business and also provide income for many others like Miguel and his family. Even with the income that Miguel receives from the coffee co-op, he and his family are still living in deep poverty and isolation-issues unmatched and unknown to persons living within The United States. There is such value in knowing where our goods in the United States come from, where our money is being spent, and knowing the the impact of those dollars. We live in a global economy and today I saw first-hand how connected we really are. For me, going to Meijers and buying coffee is no longer an activity that I will do in isolation. The impact of that one transaction has impacts that reaches as far as a tiny community on a volcano in rural forgotten El Salvador. Today was a great honor to meet Miguel and his family and to be so graciously welcomed into their home and into their story.

At last....after about 3 hours of work...a hard earned cup of 100% organic, fairly-traded, El Salvadoran coffee courtesy of the El Jabali Coffee Co-Operative.

This is the processing structure at the co-op. Miguel noted with pride that this technology and equipment was valued just over $40,000.

* The best coffee house ever*

Pictures from the visit with Maria

This is the view from Maria and Suzannah's home, looking out over the volcano.















Maria and her family and some of us after lunch.




















El Bano.

Maria Remberta

This afternoon we went to visit Maria Remberta for an authentic Salvadoran meal. Maria lives in an extremely rural impoverished area. We actually dined at her daughter Suzannah's home. Maria is the matriarch of the home and is surrounded by her children, their spouses, and her grandchildren. The ride to Maria's home took well over an hour and required travel on highways, side-streets, and clay roads through the mountains. The home that we visited does not have running water or electricity and is surrounded by chickens, dogs, and a majestic beauty that stills the soul. The inequity in resource allocation is beyond fathom. Here there is no set definition of success and life is described by the everyday task of meeting basic needs. Yet, God's presence surrounded and permeated the entire day. It was a rare and intimate privilege to be able to experience the life of Maria's family and to settle into the tension of true global poverty.

International Workers' Day March

Today was the celebration of the International Workers' Day. The city of San Salvador had a huge march that went on for miles and also had a festival with many bands. Our group went to the march and witnessed a huge out-pouring with regard to this holiday. It is interesting to note that International Workers' Day, May 1st, is celebrated all over the globe. However, within the United States, especially within my state of Michigan, there is little mention. This is true despite the fact that the first march took place in Chicago, IL in 1886. Here, in El Salvador, the workers all march and note that they have rights to fair laws and practice regarding the number of hours within the work-day, to unionize with representation, and to be able to have breaks on the job for meals and for bathroom usage. Further, many of the workers marched noting that they had the right to organize and advocate for themselves. There were marchers from all employment sectors including medical personnel, utility workers, factory employees, and sex workers. It was very cool to see. It was obvious that these individuals had a great passion about this march and that fair and equitable treatment within the workplace is still not where it needs to be.